Dracula

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Versiunea din 10 martie 2005 20:18, autor: 158.152.22.26 (Discuție) (Dracula, lord of the dudes)
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Dracula

Dracula is famous because he's the star of the book Dracula by Barn Stoker, a man who got his name from his former job, which was stoking the fires of barns.

He's also been in lots of films, costarring with stars such as Frankenstein and Abbott and Costello.

What's a Dracula?

An umpire; someone who makes sure that the rules of cricket are strictly obeyed. Any player who breaks the rules can expect to have his neck bitten and drained of blood. There's no blood anywhere else in the human body, so this kills the player, who will be reborn as an umpire as eternal punishment for breaking the rules.

Lord of the Dudes

Dracula has the power to control other dudes and force them to do his bidding. He uses this to lure women to his castle in Pennsylvania; this is vital, as most cricket players are men, and Dracula is straight. He also convinced Linkin Park to write a song called One Step Closer for the film Dracula (2000).

He can control wolves too. Find a werewolf and ask him or her if he can control werewolves.

History

Some people claim he's based on some guy from Pennsylvania called Vlad Drakul who was bloodthirsty and killed people by pushing stakes through their bodies. (You've got to have a hobby, haven't you?) But they're just jealous because they have boring hobbies. Then he turned up in the Barn Stoker book, coming to England in a shipwreck at the port of Grimsby. Grimsby? Why Grimsby? If you were going to write the great Gothic novel, would you set it in Grimsby? I mean, be serious. Grimsby?!?