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Romii sunt o etnie de pe continentul eurasian.
A caravan of gypsies laugh and jest, preparing for a night of trickery and scraping of foot-corns
Gypsies can only possess any of the following names (though they may be combined, for new possibilities), Mercedesa, Patron, Paris, Ministeru, BMW, Fericirea, Hilda, Hildabrand, Zaigypsu, Stella Vanmark, Yandterdt, Tshurkurka the Wise, Stevo, Grofo, Latco, Pardalien, Gemile, Pamela, Argentina, Donka, Tsuritsa, Scumpatatea, Spania, Somerta, Adonis, Elvis, Faraon.
Any other names used are clearly faked. If you meet a so-called gypsy with a name other than one of these (or any of them combined with each other for a new name) then they are either:
A. Not a gypsy.
B. Lying about their name, they're secretly named Hildabrand.
[modifică] Rites of Passage
The life of a gypsy is filled with events and tests that must be followed in order to continue life as a gypsy and to fulfill the prophecies of Randorff the Butcher. See also, Milestones
1. First Words: Unlike other peoples of this world, the name of this milestone is not as it implies. As white children are expected to form proper sentences, Asian babies expected to speak mathematical equations and the children of black people expected to rap or beatbox, Gypsies are instead expected to speak gibberish. Gibberish counts as words for gypsies, since most of what they say is merely gibberish and usually means 'I need to take a massive dump' or 'My pants, they grow tight at the sight of that woman's purse'.
2. First Tarot Cards: Though these may be substituted in some gypsy families for magic beads, generally at the age of six or seven a gypsy child is given their first tarot cards. These will soon be used in their first gyp.
3. First 'Gyp': In order to truly learn the value of a dollar, the gypsy child (usually around the age of 8) will have to perform his first 'gyp'. Self-explanatory.
4. First Facial Wart: Self-explanatory. Though this may seem unnecessary, it is quite essential to the gypsy way of life. Usually occurs around the age of eleven or twelve (though some late bloomers have needed up to twenty years).
5. First Crystal Ball: Generally given to a child around the age of thirteen, the crystal ball will be given soon after the appearance of nose hairs and after their chicanery skills have been improved to a sufficient level.
6. First Spiritual Joint: This milestone can occur at any time in a child's life, but usually occurs around the age of fifteen. This is after they have made enough gyps. Used with tarot cards and crystal balls.
7. First Glass Eye: This usually occurs anywhere from the age of sixteen to thirty, whenever they have mastered their gypsy skills; including scamming, using tambourines and getting 'spiritual' off of minimal amounts of cannabis.
SA MA SUGETZI DE PULA!
Being a gypsy is not as easy as it may seem. Life as a gypsy is not all playing tambourines, molesting white children, and using your grandfather's skull as a bong. That's only most of it. In order to be a true gypsy you must also fulfill the following requirements:
- Have a gypsy name. Refer above, to nomenclature.
- Have some sort of missing or prosthetic body part (A glass eye is suggested, but not required)
- Have Warts or some sort of skin disease
- Wear shitty clothes
- Have at least two relatives killed and/or maimed by the Nazis in WW2
- Have some sort of disease (Scurvy is suggested, but tuberculosis works too)
[modifică] Little-known Facts about Gypsies
- Gypsies play the harmonica
- Gypsies haunt small children at night if they haven't eaten their vegetables
- Gypsies smoke a lot of pot
- Gypsies are often confused with hairy Hungarian women
- Gypsies love shiny objects, such as scraps of metal
[modifică] The White Gypsies
- The White Gypsies (tiganii albi),are romanian dudes whit inima de tigan (heart of gypsy)
- Used lines:
-pula mia (mi dick),
-treaba serioasa (serios deal),
-rup corzile de la vioara (break the face of Viorel From Braila)
-pe sistem prajit (on fried sistem)
-pe sistem nervos (on very angry sistem)
-bre (hey)
-n-auzi? (are you deaf?)
