Geografie din România

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(Redirecționat de la Geography of Romania)
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Regions[modificare]

Moldova[modificare]

Moldova este varul mai mare al Bucovinei , si este situat in coltul de Nord-Est al Romaniei. Vezi aici mai multe despre The Founding of Moldova, The People of Moldova, The Customs and Turism. Tampau is the faimousts object from this area.

Another translation of the word Bucovina, if I may say so, is Buc (bottom) + Ovina (the sheep) = buca oii (the bottom of the sheep). The baci, aka ciobani, as my fellow writer stated above, are using the sheep for fur, milk, meat and sex - life at a farm can get really lonely, especially during winter. So buca oii (the bottom of the sheep) is very useful for the health of the ciobani. During Constantinescu (aka The goat) regime this kind of behaviour was forbiden, as the former president was sympathetic with his relatives, the sheeps.


Transylvania and Wallachia[modificare]

But is there anyone who didn't know a little something about it?

The primary staple export of Transylvania, cute transsexuals, are sought worldwide for showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Wallachia (aka Walachia) is home to Walachia✰Mart and Vlad the Impaler of Dracula fame. See also: Transylvania.da

Cities[modificare]

SOVATA[modificare]

Romania

A place where the employees of a well-known national authority in Romania are going to play with each other over the week-end

La Sovata, unde-i fericită fata

De interes pentru vizitatori[modificare]

  • e una si in Bulgaria, la sud de Dunare
  • cea din Romania are 11 mii locuitori, dupa recensamant. Inainte, nu se cunoaste, că nici înainte de scripturi nu se stia dacă a înviat cineva.
  • statiunea este indicata in principal pentru tratamentul bolilor ginecologice (insuficienta ovariana, cervicita cronica, metrosalpingita cronica, sterilitate) - http://www.ont.ro/content/statiunea_sovata.htm
  • Szováta a Sóvidék legnagyobb települése, híres fürdő- és üdülőhely. A település pulos a Kisküküllő felső vidékén fekszik és két részből áll: Szováta város és Szováta-fürdő
  • Romans Abramovici a devenit actionar cu acte in regula la hotelul Danubius, prin intermediul companiei "Danubius Hotel Management" (http://www.azi.ro/arhive/2005/04/26/afaceri.htm).
  • La sfatul lui Muthu, Joshua Castellano a anuntat demararea unui studiu de prefezabilitate in vederea evaluarii oportunitatilor de afaceri pentru realizarea unei plantatii de coca, in fata hotelului Danubius.
  • hotelul unde nu stam - hotel Sovata - a castigat premiul nr. 6 la categoria servicii hoteliere, in cadrul consursului Premiile Calitatii 2004 initiat de ANPC (http://www.calitate.anpc.ro/evenimente/premiilecalitatii.php). Hotelul unde stam a boicotat participarea.

Ce putem face[modificare]

  • club cu sala pentru jocuri mecanice, sala de lectura, cinematograf, bazine acoperite, discoteci, popicarie, excursii la Dealul Saca si la Varful Cireselu etc
  • fotbal cu echipa Mobila Sovata din divizia C (ultimul meci cu Mantrax Bod s-a terminat cu 0-1 pentru oaspeti)
  • superski - incepand din 2169, in baza Legii nr.256 din 11 decembrie 2003 pentru dezvoltarea turismului pentru practicarea schiului si a altor sporturi de iarna
  • teoretic se pot scoate bani din piatra seaca si de la cele 3 bancomate: 1 BCR si 2 Raiffeisen
  • putem asculta Radio Son Sovata - 89,2 MHz

Cu ce putem pleca[modificare]

  • ierburi medicinale si ceaiuri laxative, prostatice si silufite (s.c. Larix srl, str. lunga 46F) www.larix.ro
  • branza "data viitoare poate ma saruta" (fabrica Hochland va asteapta din 1999 pe str. praidului 135)
  • prosoapele de la hotelu' lu' Abramovici
  • meningita, gripa aviara, sifilis si raceala la prostata
  • pe piata de gros, exporturile ilegale de cherestea sunt la moda, si exista toate premisele pentru manifestarea unui puternic trend ascendent in primavara-vara 2006, pe fondul liberalizarii totale a pietei de gros pentru terminarea padurilor.

Bucuresti[modificare]

Summer capital of Romania ( how could a country have a "summer capital"? whoever wrote this was seriously deranged). Also largest city in the country, except for summer, when 50% to 80% of the population migrates to the seaside (see Tourism in Romania) to show off the expensive cars that during the rest of the year turn the mother city in to a huge parking lot. It is also known as "the city of the 9 hills", sporting only one noticeable height difference, innappropiately known as "Dealul Mitropoliei" - "The Metropolitan Hill" (go figure). Besides the above mentioned attractions, Bucharest is a city of many enchantments. Most of the magical population of Romania seems to live here (those specialised in disappearing acts). Anyway, all inhabitants are very warm and welcoming folks, very fond of tourists - especially german (cars), american (wallets), japanese (cameras) etc
You will also find here a wide array of wildlife (they seem to have turned the city in to a hybrid of wildlife reservation and zoo) - See Romania - Flora and Fauna In Bucharest you may find many species of inhabbitants: tzaranii (the peasants - common word for people who do not know how to dress or act in society,), shmecherii (the cool ones - word for people showing off with their parents money, pretending they're theirs) and the rroms - a special category of people, populating most of the districts of Bucharest. The weather in Bucharest has 2 seasons - dirty (spring and summer) and very dirty (autumn and winter). Once in 4 years, a strange and new kind of weather appears: clean (elections time). Driving in Bucharest: you may find that driving in Bucharest is an extreme sport and requires many protection systems. There are 3 categories of drivers: the sleepers (drivers that sleep behind the wheel - do not honk, you may disturb their sleep), the fast and the furious and the 3rd category, the most dangerous one - too fast and too furious. To be prepaired you have to: always be ready to honk loud and clear,in order for the other drivers to notice you - mirrors are not enough for them. Have your middle finger prepaired to greet other partipants in traffic. They will answer back in the same way. Also, other forms of saluting other drivers in your way to the office are: "Cine ma-ta te-a invatat sa conduci, ba boule!!", "Misca imbecilule, ca ma grabesc!!" and "Futu-ti frana ma-ti ca era sa intru-n tine!!". The other drivers will answer back in very polite ways like: "Du-te-n ma-ta de imbecil!" Also, in Bucharest, pedestrians seem to have suicidal attempts (as they cross everywhere but the crossing sign) so be carefull not to run them down. Always be carefull at the rroms transportation means: the horse and carriage, the donkey and sometimes children carring each other. The sales representatives are the most weired specie of drivers. Do not anoy them, or this will be the last thing you've ever done in your lifetime.

muie micro 5

Caracal[modificare]

Rooted deep in Rumanian mythology, this city is living proof that IQs do come in less than zero fashion. Legends speak of a cart full of stupid people breaking down in the area and since they were too dumb to fix it they became the founding fathers of the great city of Caracal, the winter capital of Romania. What the story doesn't say is that they were also drunk on tuica and high on aurolac.

There is a strong belief among locals that this story in entirely based on the jealousy and envy that all Romanian feel towards caracaleans due to their incredibly developed intellect and overwhelming big genitals. It is known trough Romania that Caracal is a center of knowledge, archetypical monuments and computer science (more than 10% of MIT students come from here). Marius Tuca, Dan Diaconescu, Augustin Julea, Emil Mitrache are also caracalian men of television.

But of course who can forget the mistakes these geniuses "intentionately" made ...: like putting the prison on "liberty street" and where else could u build a cemetery if not on "resurrection street", strada invierii!! .but whe have to handed to them i mean its not their fault the police station's front door got STOLEN ... they were too busy trying to figure out how in god's namer they built a circular apartment building (adican cerc ) and left the freaking crane in the midle of the damn thing...are these stories?! :)

Cluj[modificare]

Situated in north western Transylvania, the county of Cluj is the county of the so called "slana"(disgusting fried pieces of pig grease,obtained by stabing a pig and burning him with a homemade flamethrower,consisting in a can of spray and a primitivelighter,used for lighting low quality cigars). Process:1.You take one dagger,inherited from your great great great grandmother,you slip it into the pig and you let it die in agony(Note:The horrible sounds produced by the dying pig are sure to annoy the "vecinii" and the "dusmanii" who are described in the "manele" cult) 2.You light the "bricheta"(lighter) and you spray the whole can of spray into it. It will cause a splendid flame effect which will surely fry the pig and polute the nature(2 in 1,huh?pretty good). The "slana" is consumed with onion,giving locals a teribbly stinky mouth. Rumor has it that it's a sign of virility. Of course,toothpaste is not an option because it's made of mint resulted from the national sport (the frecat of the menta) and some trash you find in a junk yard. Cluj is also a fortress for the homeless, who live in holes, old monuments, and even cemeterys, pissing and shitting on graves. In Cluj takes place the secular war between the Manelarii (Cretinus Ţiganus Vulgaris) and the Roacărz (Pletosus Urlatus Ironmaidenusmetallicus). The hip-hoppers (Jmecherus Sugipulus) are neutral in this war,some of them being with one side or another. Som my advice is to visit this beautiful city but watch your back when passing through dark alleys and watch your wallet in the trolleybus, 'cause the Ţiganii(Daţâmşimieunbanus furatis) are very open to other cultures and are very anctious to see how foreign money look and to keep them also (they like to collect them like stamps). and u play chess?

Carei[modificare]

A big city situated north of Cacalamal town. Many famous people have roots in Carei, I can name a few: Gabi (pf pf), Marku, Robi and me...i'm sure you know me..:) In town we have many "bozgors" and their leader is Beko Tamas, the unofficial leader is Cristi Vashymyfuckingdick....and his army of "nesatuli"(meaning fat greedy people like him) There is another character, a freaky one by nature, a mutant, "doamne ..nu se mai gata??" known as Ioana,you know who...aka Ioana the Beast. Ioana "The planet" or Ioana "the tiny" (ironical) We have in town one trafic light...one park and one Sergiu ..vai,vinoo.. There is also a house of civilized, earthly delights, a building containing 20 rooms or so... that being the castle situated in the center of the park... where many former bozgor leaders used to have combination with wet women... Now why wet? For the party "our" mayor belongs to (the one mentioned in the second paragraph) is called UDMR (adding a romanian E after each letter results in two words "ude" "mereu", in the same sentence meaning that a bozgoress is always wet...


Galati[modificare]

A nice and interesting town (if you believe the people living there), and a very dirty city if you'd ask everybody else. This is the brother-city of Caracal. The legend said that initialy there were initialy two carriages with wise guys. But the first one stranded in hole of garbage near Dunare and the second (thanks to the bravery of the leader) in Caracal. Altough every woman in Galati should be called as galateanca, every one of them prefer to be called galeata(due to their bulky vagina). They believe this is praiseworthy. The men in Galati are legendary for two things : drinking and avarice. The drinking results from their women who can't satisfy them (being so bulky-vagina). So the only thing interesting thing to do at home is drinking. Drinking all day long, they can't save any money so they are avaricious.All their stories begin with :"Am baut cu nevasta-mea..." or " Am baut o data cu unii..." or "A baut o data un vecin d-al meu...". They are all known all around the world for their avarice so it appeared a well known quarrel after many people couldn't make any galatean happy with the sharing of money:"Ce bah, esti de la Galati?!"(C'mon man,where are you from? Galati?)

This is the opinion of an "oltean", aka a man from Oltenia (dont ask...) so we'll have to understand him...

Guirgiu[modificare]

This is a very interesting town. Everyone seems to be veisiting it extremely often and enjoying it, but they're also unable to say WHY they enjoyrd Guirgiu, as it has ABSOLUTELY nothing interesting to SEE or DO. But people seem to like visiting dull places. Like people seem to like visiting stupid pages like this one :)

Deva City[modificare]

A big city that has over 1.000.000 people and a great volei team.....CSS DEVA. Deva mayor is Semitu Kikibambus A'Lui Shtitzivoicine,also known as SKALS&ROSES,and he lives in the most known place of Deva City..... the "Budha Lui Satana" palace,which,in romanian means "the milk and choccolate of God". Deva City is also known as the headquarters of the romanian gymnastics team,which in romanian is called "curvele lui Belu Pedofilu futu-va dumniezo de pizdulitze playboy ce sunteti",which translating to english means "the best gymnastic team in the world". Deva City is also known for the product of "putze,fofoloance,si smecleu" which translating,means "barbicue,carrots,and sheep milk",also known in hungarian as "fasz,nagy fasz,es apa tey". One of the major objectives in Deva City is the "Cetatea lu masa care l-o facut" which means "the castle of Cristi Minculescu".Near the "Cetate",you can find the park,which in romanian is called "Limbi'In'Parc",which means "a big USA band majdnem".In Deva City there is also a man known as the "baiatul din rivanol" ,translating to english it means "Nelson Mandela majdnem" which is the oldest man in the world (he is 235 years).You cand also find the "shtrandul cu tzatze si funduri pt tineri" which,translating to english,means "an old man's paradise". So,i hope this will make you visiting our city.And now,i will greet you with our beautifull "bagami-ash pula in gatu mati de strain,hai incoace sa te furam si sa te ducem in padure sa te futem,futu-ti ceapa si abrihanu ma-tii de cacat in ploaie cu ochi si coaie!" which means "it was nice talking to you!".


This article is part of the What I Didn't Know about Romania series.
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